Getting Drunk
by Arandomchan
Summary: Class field trips are great. Even ones where your alter ego gets depressed, your best friend has gone insane, you make out with your enemy and you have this weird stamp on your hand that says ”You’ve been alien abducted have a nice day!” [BL, OOC]
1. Depression

Most of this came out at nighttime!  I'm sorry.  Kind of.  Maybe.  Probably not.  O.o

Anyway, here's the spiel; The end of the school year has rolled around (and fallen off the bed) and Daisuke's class has been promised a special field trip.  Unfortunately, for Daisuke, problems keep popping up in the strangest ways, and Dark seems to be getting maniacally depressed all of a sudden.  In order to DO something....  he gets drunk (Teacher:  .  I thought all the mini-bars had been emptied, damnit!) and THEN things start spiraling recklessly out of control...  it may even include Daisuke doing some very strange things.

And Satoshi's reading the Kama Sutra!?

Kill me, if you want – I already feel half dead.  X.x

I'm pretty sure this will only last three chapters – beat me into it, please!  But I'm probably not going to spew those chapters out very fast – I have to divide my attention to two other DN Angel fics of mine, one which is on Fanfiction.net, and has the longest title anyone has ever seen, my Kenshin fic, my Gundam Wing fic, and, finally, No One Left Behind, which happens to have the most chapters on it then any of my other stories, and also has the thickest plot.  Like chicken noodle soup, actually.

So don't expect it quickly!

This Chapter Contains:  Yarn, implied Alien abductions, the Kama Sutra, and waking up to compromising situations.

Timeline:  I dunno.  What's a timeline again?  Another holiday?  Damnit.

Pairings:  Not saying yet!  .

Getting Depressed, Getting Desperate, and Getting Drunk

Depression

_Another goddamn field trip_.  Dark muttered in the back of Daisuke's mind as the class stared at the crazy teacher announced the trip, which was no more then a week away from tomorrow.  _What, don't like them_?  Daisuke asked, lifting an eyebrow as he sat at his desk.  Dark frowned in his mind.  _Uh, would it be obvious if I said no_?  He growled, then, _Every single freaking time we go on a field trip with this crazy lady, bad things happen_.  _Usually involving your friend Satoshi and his crazy demon from hell_.

The teacher began taking questions one by one, answering with her usual enthusiasm.  Daisuke cupped his chin in his palm as he quirked his lips into a semi-pout.  _I agree, but other then that, the field trips are pretty fun_.  _And, actually, this is the last field trip of the year_ - _she promised to take us somewhere special for a week_.

_I hope it doesn't have anything to do with yarn_.  He grumbled, making a face.  Daisuke laughed at him, remembering why he didn't like yarn.  

_Yarn isn't your forte_.  

_Don't I know it_.  Dark retreated back into his mind, or was going to, but Daisuke stopped him.  

_Dark, what's wrong_?  _You've been a little disgruntled for a while_.  The Thief blinked at him and shrugged.  

_Everyone has their ups and downs_.  _I think I'm entitled to mine_.

Daisuke knew there was more to it, but let it drop, and Dark went back to sleep.

*

Daisuke walked into a wall.  Blinking, he backed up quickly, rubbing his nose as he refocused on his surroundings.  _Oops_.  He said to himself, a little embarrassed for having spaced out as he walked through the hallways of school.  A hand landed on his shoulder and he twisted to see Satoshi's blank face behind him.  "Eh?"  He said, blinking again with his hand still on his nose.

"Niwa..." The blue haired boy said, his voice level as always.  "Did you hear where we are going for the field trip?"

"Eh?  You didn't hear it?"

"I fell asleep."  Satoshi shook his head slightly, removing his hand from the other boy's shoulder.

" _What_?!  You fell _asleep_?!  During _class_!?"  Daisuke stared at him like he'd grown a third head.

The blue haired boy blinked.  "Yes."  He gave Daisuke a penetrating look before he spoke again.  "Do you know that you still have your hand covering your nose?"

The red head blinked and quickly lowered his hand, after discovering that, indeed, his hand had been on his nose... still.  _Did you know that you're rather annoying_?  Dark said sarcastically from inside Daisuke's head, who blushed appropriately.  _Dark_!  _He's my friend_!  Dark smirked enigmatically at him.  _He's not my friend_.  _Do I need to remind you that he's probably at this moment thinking of ways to get you in bed_ – this time, Dark flushed, then amended hastily, _er, I mean, he's planning ways to capture me_.  After Daisuke began breathing again, and his skin returned to normal temperatures, he retorted, _I thought you liked being chased_.  

Satoshi was watching him throughout this entire internal battle.  He even raised an eyebrow as he watched Daisuke blush once, then twice, much more furiously then before.

_Eh, I need a break everyone in a while_.

_Then stop stealing and you'll get a break_.  _It's not like thievery is a job with set hours_.

Dark effected an uninterested expression.  _Fine_.

Daisuke cleared his throat, blinking and refocusing his eyes.  "Um...  actually, Satoshi...  I don't know, either."

The pale haired boy regarded him for another moment before he gave a small half shrug.  "It can't be helped, I guess.  If you find out, tell me."  As he said this, he turned and walked away, hands in pockets and glasses tucked into his shirt, unused at the moment.

*

The week passed by; Daisuke, whether it was from procrastination, laziness, or just forgetfulness, didn't find out where they were going until the morning when the buses arrived to take them to the train station.  

"Daisuke!"  Risa exclaimed as she ran up to him, grinning from ear to ear.  "Daisuke!  Isn't this exciting?"

He blinked and smiled, nodding.  _That's it, smile and nod_...  "Uh, yeah, exhilarating...  I can't believe we're going to..."

"A HOT SPRINGS RESORT!"  She hollered, bouncing up and down.  Daisuke's eyes widened.  

"H-hot springs?"  He asked.

"Yup!  This is so cool!  A week at a hot springs resort!"

He mustered as much happy-go-lucky spirit he could – it seemed that Dark's depression was contagious.  How dangerous.  "Yeah, awesome!"

"What's awesome?"  Daisuke turned to see Satoshi behind him, staring blankly at him.

Daisuke grinned insincerely.  "We're going to the Hot Springs!"

"I know."

Daisuke forgot he had knees and crashed to the ground.  "Y-you did?"

"Yes."  

" _Well then why didn't you tell me_!?"  He cried as he crawled slowly to his feet.  The pale haired boy broke his stoic facade with a small, almost wry smile.

"I thought you'd had figured it out by now – the teacher wrote it in big letters on the board."  Daisuke vaguely remembered the chalky scribbles.  

"Ah... oh."  He bent with his hands on his knees, staring at the ground...  "Uh..."

"Did you bring what was on the list?"  Risa inquired, blinking a few times curiously.  Then she swore and began rubbing at her eye, cursing foully about dust particles.  

Daisuke groaned, slipped farther towards the ground, then whimpered out, "No..."

Satoshi stopped staring almost incredulously at Risa, who walked away, still rubbing her eye and cursing so direly that students were clearing a pathway for her nervously.  The pale haired boy transferred his gaze to the Niwa boy who was damn near sinking into the ground, damn physical impossibilities.

"That's okay.  I have an extra pair of swim shorts you can borrow when you need them – that's all you really needed, actually."  Niwa, tears of appreciation forming in his eyes, clung to Hiwatari's arm.

"Thank... you..." He whispered, letting Satoshi drag his weight as he walked towards the bus, ignoring the pain in his shins as they hit the steps on their way up.  Satoshi selected a random seat, sat in it, and watched as Niwa laid himself out in the isle, slowly becoming too depressed to even move.

_Dark_!  He yelled in his head, trying to catch the maniacally depressing thief's attention.  _DARK_!!

... _What_?  Dark asked sullenly. 

_Snap out of it_!  _Your depression is making_ me _depressed_!

_So_?

_Agh_!  As he lay in the isle, hoping no one would step on him, he thought frantically of a way to get out of this dilemma.  _Hey, did you hear where we're going for a field trip_?

_No_.  _And I don't care_.

_I think you will_.  _We're going to a Hot Springs Resort_.

... _oh_.

_Hot Springs = Naked pretty girls_.

Slowly, Dark began to ease off from his gloomy mood.  _Oh_.... _naked_.... _pretty_.... _girls_.....  Then it happened.  _NAKED PRETTY GIRLS_!!

Which was exactly what came out of Niwa's mouth as Riku and Risa stepped over him, chatting happily.  Everyone froze and stared at him as he realized what he'd said, flushing and sinking towards the floor again.

_Oops_.  Dark grinned impishly as Daisuke fought off a nosebleed.  _I guess I got carried away_. 

Daisuke twitched and climbed onto the seat next to Hiwatari, who regarded him with an almost amused expression.  _Just a little_....  He replied, leaning back into the seat at the same time he was trying to hide his face.

_This is going to be hell this is going to be hell this is going to be hell this is going to be hell_....

*

It was a short trip to the train station, in which time period Daisuke took to bundle his sweater on his head and pretend he was someone else, some place else, and hadn't said what he'd managed to say earlier.

Dark, however, had no such inhibitions.

_What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion_?

_Whaaaaat_...?  Daisuke groaned internally, sinking further towards the floor – Satoshi, who had been watching him for the last few minutes, grabbed under both of his arms and hauled him back up to the proper level.

_A piece of ass that makes you cry_!

_Ha_.

_Not enjoying my jokes_?

.... _I'm thinking of letting my silence answer you for me_.

_I'm over heating; take off that damn sweater – I can't even see_!

_If I can't see them, they can't see me_.

_If I can't see 'them', I'm going nuts_.

_Fine_.  Niwa retorted, unwrapping the cloth from his head, peeking into the world beyond his sweater.  _Happy_?

Dark smirked.  _Much_!

"Daisuke-" Satoshi said, snapping him into the real world.  "We're here."

"We're where?"

"The train station."

"There's a train station?"

"...."

"Uh....  oh."

Daisuke slid out of the seat and filed out of the bus, followed by Hiwatari.  As he stepped from the bus, someone wrapped their arms around his neck, effectively choking him.  "Naked Pretty girls, huh?"

The red head twisted and struggled, making noises as he attempted to get out of the grip.

"Man, when the hell did you become a pervert, Niwa!?"  Takeshi bawled from behind him, finally letting the red head go.  Daisuke knelt on the ground, gasping for air.

"You guys!"  Risa cried from the train platform, hopping up and down and waving her arms around.  "Hurry up or you're going to be late!"

"Crap!"  Takeshi said, and, grabbing Niwa's arm, dragged the boy to the platform, Satoshi behind them, silent as usual.

They managed to board right as the conductor closed the door.  The train lurched and Daisuke lost his footing, tumbling backwards and colliding with Satoshi.  Both boys landed in a heap and tangle of limbs on the floor.

Takeshi blinked at them.  "Uh..  see you later!"  He ran down the car, looking for an open seat – each car had about three rooms on each side with four seats in each compartment – there was one empty compartment, and as soon as the red head and the stoic boy disentangled themselves, they made themselves comfortable, closing the door to keep out any disturbances.  Just in time.  Takeshi ran down the car hallway, chased by a girl with a furious look on her face, holding something that looked potentially lethal.

Daisuke groaned and sunk into a seat, ready for a good nap as Satoshi sat next to him, glasses on and book out.

_Hmm, wonder what demon-boy is reading_.  Dark mused quietly, also ready for a nap but not admitting it.  The red-eyed boy ignored him and relaxed into the seat, sliding his eyes shut.  He listened to the soft sounds around him....

The whisper of the train racing over the steel tracks, the minute creak of the train fixings, Satoshi's even breathing next to him...

Within minutes, he was asleep.

*

And he awoke, hours later, to someone yelling.

Beyond the yelling, which he had yet to decipher, he could tell that he lay stretched out on the seat, head in someone's lap.  A warm hand cupped his side as it lay across him, limp with sleep.

Blinking, he realized where he was...  and whom he was on.

_Holy crap_!  He yelped internally as he shot straight up, now face to face with a sleeping Hiwatari.  His book lay forgotten in the hand that hadn't been on Daisuke, laying limp on the seat next to him.  His head hung forward, glasses slipping all the way down his nose until they were almost dangling off it.  He was leaning to the side, slightly, with his hair in his face and his mouth slightly open.  _I hope he didn't drool on me_...

Dark woke up as well and grin.  _Good_ morning _sunshine_!  He cried, aware of the situation Daisuke had found himself waking up to.  _Heh heh_...  _What a compromising position_....

He trailed off in favor of the yelling.

"Woah!  I never expected _this_ from you, Daisuke!"  Takeshi was saying, rather loudly.  "But whatever – I'm sure we can still be friends-"

"What are you _talking_ about?"  Daisuke moaned, rubbing his head and glaring at his over-reactive friend.  He swung his legs over the seat and leaned forward, pressing the heel's of his palm into his eyes in attempt to wake himself up more fully.

"What do you think?"  Takeshi said, pausing in his rants.  "You're little thing for Satoshi!"

"...  What thing?"

"There's no thing...?"

"Um....  there was a thing to begin with...?"

"Oh...." Takeshi's expression changed suddenly – Daisuke gaped.

"What, you're _disappointed_ there's no thing?!"  Daisuke asked, almost disbelieving.  After all, Takeshi did have a reputation for being off....

"Ah..." Takeshi scratched the back of his head, managing to look a bit like a monkey.  "Er... never mind, then, I guess...."

He left the way he had come and Daisuke slumped back into the seat.  Then Satoshi slid down and landed with his head in Daisuke's lap.

_Oh crap_.  He said.  Dark laughed.

_What do I do_!?  He stared at Satoshi, who had managed to bury his head farther into the red-eyed boy's lap.  _Agh_!  _Should I move him_?  _What if he wakes up and misunderstands_...?  _Then should I wake him up and tell him to get off_...?  _But_...  _Ah_!  _What if I don't move him or wake him up and he wakes up on his own_?!  _What if_...

_Utilize it_!  Dark crowed from inside Daisuke's mind.

_SHUT UP_!!!

_Pfffft_...  _Fine, then_.  _Just play dead_.

_Why won't you just shu-_  _Wait, that's not that bad of an idea_...

_Eh_?

_I woke up in his lap_...  _So what if I was asleep and he woke up in mine_...?  _Then he wouldn't get the wrong idea_!  _It wouldn't be my fault, and he'd never know_!

_Yeah, but what if he put you there in the first place_?

_Uh..  Put me where_?

_In his lap_.

Daisuke blinked.  _Why would he_...

Dark laughed enigmatically.  _Hurry up and get to sleeping_.

*

The next time Daisuke woke up, the train was slowing down...  and he was on the floor of the compartment, tangled in limbs and clothes with Hiwatari.  His face was pressed tight against the crook of Satoshi's neck, and he could feel the blue-eyed boy's breath feathering his hair near his ear.  Arms were wrapped around, and clothing snagged in other clothing.  He groaned inwardly.  _How the hell did I get in this mess_...?

_I know_!  _Just stay there_!  Dark said gleefully, grinning from ear to ear.

_NO_!!  Dark pouted.  That moment, Satoshi moaned and shifted – Niwa held his breath, half hoping and half dreading that he might waken.  Dark blue eyes blinked sluggishly open, peering down at a red head nestled between his neck and shoulder.

"Uh...  Daisuke?"

"... yeah...?"

"What are....."

"Just help me get out of this..." He mumbled, struggling to break away; he noticed the train was going slower, as well.  They must be getting close to their destination.  Satoshi made him lie still and he unbuttoned Daisuke's shirt, then untangled the clasps, re-buttoning the shirt.  Half of their problem was solved.  But it seemed like Daisuke's pants had somehow gotten caught in Satoshi's shoes...

They sat up, unhooking their belts from one another, then set to work on their pants/shoe problem.  Freeing them, Daisuke jumped up, then sat on the train seat in a rush, dizzy from the sudden race of blood to his head.  He made a face and ran his hands through his hair.  The train stopped rather abruptly, and Daisuke, unprepared, was thrown forward, back on top of Satoshi, who had remained sitting, watching Daisuke curiously.

Groaning, Daisuke sat on the floor, rubbing the back of his head as he grimaced.  The door rolled open and Riku stood there, blinking at them.  "C'mon.  We're here."

Grabbing their luggage, they followed the rest of the students to the train station, huddling together awaiting teacher instructions while at the same time casting their eyes about.  

"Wow, cool," Takeshi said, staring up at the ceiling.  Daisuke followed his gaze, along with Satoshi.  Painted on the ceiling was the summer night sky – except the sky in the painting had two moons and a visible planet with three rings around it.

"Interesting."  Satoshi said.  The teacher waded into the thick of the students, then started hopping up and down, waving her arms and yelling to get everyone's attention.  She instructed them who was to go on which bus, and reminded them that orderly conduct reflected well on their school.

Two busses divided the class – the Harada twins were on one, and Satoshi, Daisuke, and Takeshi were on the other.  Once they boarded, the driver stood up and, after the all settled down, instructed them on proper bus manners – as in, shut up, sit down, and don't throw things out the window.  Kids murmured excitedly to each other in the other seats.  Daisuke, bored and with little else to do, started a staring contest with Takeshi.  After about five minutes of this, Daisuke wondered that if he tried to blink, he might not be able to anymore.  Then he wondered if Takeshi had fallen asleep with his eyes open.

Satoshi was alternating between watching them curiously, and reading his book.  Eventually, though, a girl popped over the seat, startling Daisuke, who blinked and stared at her as she smiled and struck up a conversation.  After she realized none of the boy's were saying anything back, just looking at her, she lapsed into a nervous silence.

"Do you know..." Daisuke began slowly, but Takeshi beat him to the punch.

"You just interrupted our staring contest!"

The girl blinked.  "S-Staring contest?"

"Well, it's boring.  We need _something_ to do..."

"Ah...."

"Look ou-" Someone began to yell up near the front, but it was too late.  Something went _thump_ and a few people, girls, screamed.

"The driver!  He hit a bunny rabbit!"

"A bunny rabbit..." Takeshi said, making a face.

Daisuke swallowed.  Bunny... rabbit...  WITH?!  Where was With!?

_Don't worry_.  Dark said smoothly.  _With is okay_.  Daisuke sighed silently and eased into his seat.  The commotion died down quickly, though some girls still looked a little disgruntled.

"Hm."  Satoshi said, going back to his book as he mumbled, "Road kill."

The girl who had popped over the seat gaped at the blue haired boy, then slid back to face the front, shaken as Takeshi grinned.  "Dinner."  The reporter said with a strange gleam in his eyes.  Daisuke slipped back against the seat with a sigh.  He tilted his head and watched Satoshi read through the coverless book – he had removed the cover – and felt the lethargic boredom overcome him once again.

"Hiwatari, what are you reading?"  He asked from his seat.  Without looking up, the pale haired boy answered.

"The Kama Sutra."  

Takeshi fell onto the floor of the bus and the read head landed on top of him.  "Y-you're not serious!"  Daisuke said as they righted themselves, eyes wide.

The bus rolled to a halt before Satoshi answered them and the students piled onto the plaza, chatting, screaming, and abusing each other.  The teacher called to them and captured their attention, and soon everyone was quiet.

"Okay, these are the room assignments!"  She cried, unfolding a piece of paper she dug from her breast pocket.  Takeshi took the chance to kick Daisuke in the shins, who retaliated, and soon the two were rolling around behind the generalized group of children, scuffling loudly – everyone ignored them.

"-with Daisuke Niwa!"  She cried, and Daisuke paused to pop up his head, blinking.  

"Huh?  She called out my name?"  Takeshi tripped him and he hit his chin on the pavement, biting his tongue.  

"Crap!"  He said, rolling onto his back and scrambling up, hopping away from the crazed journalist.  

Satoshi glanced at the red head as he dove behind him, narrowly escaping another attack.  Takeshi stumbled forward, tripped, fell, and lay there.

"You're rooming with me, Daisuke."  Satoshi said as the teacher ended her announcement.  Kids scattered to find their rooming partners, then the teacher led the way inside, asking for two rows, side by side with their rooming partners.  Daisuke took his place next to Satoshi and soon they entered the building, still chatting excitedly.  One by one, the pairs approached the main desk, after the teacher confirmed the reservation, and received a pair of keys, a room number, and instructions.  When it was almost their turn, the teacher blinked and straightened.

"Oh, you remembered to empty the mini bars, right?"  She asked the clerk, who nodded.

_Mini bars, eh_?  Dark said, cocking an eyebrow.  _Too bad they got emptied_.

_Bad Dark_!

_Bah_.  _You should get drunk at least once_.  _It's fun_!

_Whatever_.

The teacher smiled at them and gave them each a key.  "Hello Niwa, Hiwatari!  Your room is on the second floor, room three-o-four."  Daisuke blinked at her, and they moved aside – he stuffed the key in his pants pocket and the two boys joined the melee of students in the waiting room.  

When each student had a key, the teacher gathered them into a tight not, herself in the middle.  "Okay!"  She said, smiling.  "I know you're all excited to be here, but before you go wandering around, I want you to drop your stuff off in your room, then meet in the large hall on floor three!"  She looked around her.  "Got it!?"

Everyone cheered and dispersed, slowly getting to their own rooms.

*

The two boys stood just inside the room, looking at the furnishings.  "Which bed do you want?"  Satoshi asked as he flung his bag into a corner.  

"Huh?"  Daisuke asked, who had again been off in another world.

"Which bed?  The one near the window or the one near the door?"

Niwa blinked.  "Oh, uh, I don't care.  Whatever."

"Neither do I, go ahead and choose."

"No, it's okay, I really don't care."

"I don't either."

"Me neither."

"Me neither."

They didn't even look at each other or get angry as they battled their 'neithers'.  

*

Riku opened the door, hours later, and stared at them.  "What the hell are you two doing?"

"I don't ca - Oh, Riku, hi."  Daisuke said, waving and smiling.  Hiwatari blinked at her, remaining quiet.

"What are you two doing?"  Riku repeated, folding her arms over her chest.  "The teacher sent me to find you."

"Oh, we're just deciding who should have which bed."

"Geez, you should just flip for it if you want it so bad."

"Oh, I don't care what bed I get."

"Then what's the problem?"  Riku asked, cocking an eyebrow at the two.

"I don't care, either."  Satoshi said, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"Ah..." Riku was failing miserably as she tried to get the picture.  So she gave up, like a good little girl and grabbed their arms, dragging them out the door and down the hallway.

*

When they reached the third floor hallway – after Daisuke had accidentally let his control slip and Dark had pushed every single button on the elevator a second before he hopped off – they found the population of students grouped around the teacher – Takeshi and Sekimoto were pushing each other around, making faces as they did so.  Riku dragged them all the way up to the teacher, who blinked and smiled.  

"Niwa!  Hiwatari!  So you _haven't_ been dragged into outer space and been made into interstellar warriors with no memories of your previous life!"  The just stared at her.  Partly because they couldn't understand half of what she said, and partly because they _had_.  She continued, oblivious.  "Since everyone is here... Takeshi!"  The boy paused in his fight with Sekimoto, which had escalated into a light saber battle, and blinked at the teacher.  "Bring me a chair...  Or ... Something!"

He nodded and ran to collect... something, Sekimoto tagging along antagonistically.  He came back, moments later, with a chair, which he placed before the teacher.  She stepped up on it and waved her arms, screeching to get the classes attention.

"Yay!  We're all here, alive, and unmolested!"  She cried.

"What's unmolested mean...?"  A girl in the melee of students asked innocently and was ignored.  The teacher continued.

"We want to stay alive through out this trip, and I want to keep my job and stay out of court, so there are rules to follow!"  She smiled, dangerously close to...  doing some just like her.  "First – Guys have one hot spring thing and girls have another hot spring thingy!  I don't want either sneaking over to the wrong side!  _There will be no baby making_!!  Second – When late at night, you _must_ have a partner to come with you if you are going to the hot spring thingy!"

Some one muttered, "Why the hell is she calling it a 'hot spring thingy'?"  But they were ignored as well.

"Third – the mini bars have been emptied, so there's no alcohol.  If you really want to get drunk, ask someone else, just don't tell anyone that I said you could get drunk, cause I didn't!  And last – no trashing the rooms!  Or stealing!  Well, the little things, like towels and shampoos and soaps you can steal, but no taking furniture or anything that can't fit into your backpack!"  Some of the students muttered to each other, but the murmur soon died out. "Okay, this is how the field trip works; if you want tours, go ahead and take them, but you have to check into your room every twenty four hours.  You _can_ leave the resort and wander around town, but you _still_ have to come back!  And you have to take a buddy!  I don't want any alien abductions on this field trip!"

Again, students began buzzing excitedly about this prospect.

"Last thing I have to say before we get this show on the road!  If anyone _is_ alien abducted, _you still have to check into the resort within twenty-four hours_!!!!"

She bowed and stepped down from the chair.  Sekimoto stood near Daisuke and Hiwatari, all three of them staring at her with varied expressions of disbelief, as was most of the class.  The parts of the class who weren't stunned were the ones with funny glasses on and were really just asleep while they stood through her presentation.    

She dismissed the class and again and they dispersed, wandering to their rooms or other such places.  A few of them had plans for mayhem...

*

Daisuke was tired by the time they got back to the room, even though it wasn't even noon.  He opened the door yawning, and fell onto the closest bed, loosing consciousness before he even hit the mattress.

But that didn't mean Dark fell asleep as well.

~In Dark's 'perverted' mind~

_No way_....  _No_.....  _Way_....  _I can't believe this_....  _It isn't fathomable_....  Dark suppressed the depressing urge to cry.

_She said we can't sneak over to see pretty naked girls_!!!!

He then remembered the red head.

_Daisuke_...  _Looks like you're going to be spending this field trip being REALLY depressed_....


	2. Desperation

Ahaha!  I woke up at about three in the morning on the Fourth of July and wrote this.  It's now 6:37 pm and my back hurts.  ^^

Anyway – I already wrote the summary in the first chapter.

Thanks to the reviewers.  I'm glad you like this.  I like writing it.

Be ready for the last chapter – I'm thinking of updating on my birthday, July 13.  O.o  hmm....

This Chapter Contains:  Sarcasm, a chase scene, random words, cross-dressing, and Alien Abductions. (not implied this time!)

Timeline:  La la la la la...  I can't heeaaaar yoooouuu....

Pairings:  Takeshi is hitting on Daisuke...  and he doesn't like it.  And there's some very...  _weird_ SatoshixDaisuke thing going on.  (in the end)

_Getting Depressed, Getting Desperate, and Getting Drunk_

_Desperation_

When Daisuke woke up, he felt like.... nothing.  He lacked the will to move or breathe or anything else.  He lacked the will to become alien abducted, for cripes sake!

_Dark_...?  He threw a probe into the darkness of his mind, a little apprehensive about what he would find.  There was no answer, and he called again, with the same response.  Then a black wave of despair washed over him and he lay on his bed, sprawled out, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling.  His mind was blank for a few precious seconds.  He realized, slowly, what was happening, and tried to fight of the desperate depression that was clinging to him like shrunken leather.  And he should know.  Dark had gotten himself in enough messes to know what shrunken leather felt like.

He managed to wiggle his body, head first, towards the edge of the bed, not quite sure what he was doing, but glad that he able to move, even if it was to only wiggle.  After most of his body had been removed from the bed, the rest followed, and he landed in a heap on the floor, blinking, and still unable to move.  He whimpered.

Satoshi, of course, was in the room, and, of course, he'd been watching Daisuke the entire time, because, of course, Daisuke was acting really freaky, and, of course, he'd notice it because, _duh_, he was a detective, and damn perceptive, too!  So he watched Daisuke as he started to wiggle, watched him as he slowly slid off the bed, and even watched as he landed on the floor, then whimpered a little, doing nothing in true blue Satoshi-style.  He didn't move an inch.  Not a centimeter.

He watched for a little longer.  

And a little more.

Some more time passed by, with only his watching.

Finally, though, he spoke.  "Daisuke, you're on the floor."

"No shit."  Daisuke managed out like it was painful.

"You should get off the floor."

"Hmm...  You think so?"  Daisuke was finding it much easier to talk if he was being sarcastic.  Maybe the power of sarcasm was depression's weakness.  Exploit the weakness!

"Yes, I do."  Satoshi was well aware of Daisuke's sarcasm, but ignored it; anyway, he was being a little obtuse as well.

"Too bad.  I like the floor."

"You really should get up."

"No.  The floor is my friend."

At that moment, the door opened and Takeshi Saehara stood on the threshold.  Since Daisuke had fallen on the other side of the bed, not visible at the door, Takeshi couldn't see him.

"Where's Daisuke?"  He asked, blinking as he looked around.

Satoshi still didn't move.  "He's on the other side of the bed.  I keep telling him to get off the floor, but he won't listen.  Something about being friendly with the floor."

Takeshi grinned scampered to see Daisuke on the floor, unable to get up, laying face down.

"Going for the floor, now Daisuke?"   Takeshi crowed, but he, too, did not offer to help Daisuke up, who was seriously contemplating, whenever he could fit it through the waves of depression, of killing on and using his intestines to strangle the other.

Of course, Dark still hadn't surfaced, so had no view on this rather homicidal view on life Daisuke had adopted.

"I hate you.  Die."  Was all the red head could get out before another bought of depression rolled over him.  Takeshi frowned, finally realizing that something was wrong.  He reached down and heaved Daisuke back onto the bed, sitting next to him.

"Daisuke...  is everything alright with you...?  You can talk to me, you know, I'm always there for you."  Takeshi said, being very un-Takeshi-like, which disturbed Daisuke.

"Uh...  No...  Just die....  That's enough for me..." He answered, unable to sit up as he lay on the bed with his legs dangling off the edge.

"Daisuke, I'm your friend, and it scares me if you won't open up to me..."

Suddenly, Daisuke's paranoia outweighed his depression, and for a good cause, because the crazed journalist (whom a few classmates are convinced is on some kind of illegal drug) was leaning a bit closer than was comfortable.  With a yelp, he jumped off the bed and dashed out the door.

"I have nothing to talk about!"  He yelled as he exited the room.  Takeshi was hot on his heels as they ran down the hallway.

"Come back here!  We need to talk!"

"No!  I don't want to talk!"  Daisuke yelled over his shoulder as he bypassed the elevator in favor of the staircase, looking desperately for escape.

As for Satoshi...

He didn't move one inch, centimeter, or millimeter.

*

Riku was wandering aimlessly around the building, looking at pictures on walls; decorations; people; whatever she walked by.  She was on the first floor, in a rather dark hallway, when she heard the screaming.  At first, she thought someone was being murdered.  The screaming became louder, and she could make out snatches of what was being said, along with the pounding of feet as they moved down the corridor.

"TALKING...  FISH BALLS...  HARMONICAS...  SERENGETI... ACOLYTE... DRUNKEN REPORTERS...  LIVE KITTY ACTION SHOWS...  HYPED UP DRUG ADDICTED CORNSTARCH..."

As the voice grew louder, she could hear even more of what was being said.

"OUR FRIENDSHIP DEPENDS ON OPENING UP TO EACH OTHER!!!"

"FIEND FROM HELL!!"

Riku blinked.  It sounded like Daisuke and Takeshi, actually...  At that moment, the red head dashed into view, spotting Riku, and ran behind her, trembling.

"_Hide me_..." He whispered fervently, eyes glued to where he'd just come from.  She could hear Takeshi's footsteps getting louder by the moment, and knew it was only a matter of seconds before he came up hem.  "_Please, help me hide, Riku_!"  He rasped desperately, face ashen.  She nodded and they ran down the hallway, a plan already forming in her mind.  She didn't know why Daisuke was running from the demented journalist, but she would help him, anyway.

They raced down the hallway, turning a few corners until they burst through a door.  Closing it hurriedly behind them, Riku panted for a moment.  "What was that about."

Across from her, on the floor and near dead, Daisuke struggled for breath, feeling as if his heart was doing the river dance.  He sat up, regarding his savior in a holy light.  "He was trying to... er...  manhandle me."  _Yeah_.  _That's right_.  _Manhandle_.  He said to himself, convincing himself, but not the girl.

"Well, whatever.  Do you think he'll be on you for the rest of the day?"

He nodded.  "If not the rest of the trip.  Maybe it's something in the water."

_Or maybe his drug stash dried up and he's going through withdrawal_.  Riku thought to herself as she grabbed some of her sisters 'feminine' products – a straightener, some curlers, gel, barrettes and bobby pins, then hauled out her own wardrobe, though it contained nothing too fancy, frilly, or lacey.  It's Riku we're talking about, here, not her twity sister.

"This would be a lot easier if Risa were here..." Riku muttered to herself, much to the incredulity of the red haired boy.  

"What do you mean 'if Risa were here'?"  Daisuke echoed, wondering what the hell she was doing with all of the clothing, make up, and hair... things...

As if on cue, Risa came through the door, closing it behind her and blinking as she spotted Daisuke.

"Huh?  Oh, hi, Daisuke."  She said, walking farther into the room.  "Riku!  You'll never believe what I saw!  Takeshi was running up and down the hallways, screaming for his lobster...  I didn't know he had a pet lobster...." She blinked thoughtfully, pursing her lips.  She realized that her twin was currently busy.  "Uh... Riku... What are you doing?"

Riku glanced up and her eyes brightened as they lit upon her younger sister.  "Risa!  Daisuke is having a...  Um...  Shall we say 'personal space' problem with Takeshi and he needs a disguise.  So I wanna dress him up as a girl."

"YOU WHAT!??"  Both Daisuke and Risa yelled at the same time, staring at Riku like she'd grown another head.

_Hmmm_...  _A girl, eh_?  Dark murmured.

_Wah_!  _Dark_!  _You're actually alive_!  Daisuke yelped, surprised that the thief had popped up finally.  Dark gave him a Look.

_Of course I'm alive_.  _I was just depressed_...  _But this girl thing_...  _it's not such a bad idea_....  Daisuke, for some reason yet unknown, caught on to Dark's line of thought automatically.  (Great – er, perverted....  minds thinks alike, eh?)

_NO_.  _WAY_.  Daisuke hissed at him.  _You are NOT using the guise of a girl to get into the girl's hot spring_!

_Yes I am_!  Dark yelled back, voice tinged with desperation.  

"That is, if you're okay with it, Daisuke..." Riku amended, looking at the red head.  

Before he could stop him, Dark answered for him.  Convincingly, as well.

"If I have to..." He seemed a bit reluctant, which was not how the _real_ Daisuke felt.  The _real_ Daisuke just plain didn't want to do it.

They all jumped as a fist came into contact with the door, and they realized that someone was knocking, rather loudly.

"RIKU!  RISA!"  Takeshi yelled from the other side of the door.  "HAVE YOU SEEN DAISUKE!?"  

As one, the two twins answered, "No!"

"THANKS!"

They could hear Takeshi walking to the next room, asking the same question.  As he faded into the distance, Daisuke turned back to the twins.

"I'll do it."  He hissed.

*

The red head surveyed himself in the full length mirror in the bathroom.  Damn.  He was cute as a girl.  His hair had been straightened so that it hung, a little fluffy and disheveled, around his face, feathering his features to make him look a bit impish, in his opinion.  Only a small amount of make-up had been applied to that face – lip-gloss and foundation, to his horror.  He wore a long sleeved, filmy shirt, to show his midriff, shoulders and his _bra straps_, for hell and ducks!  The shirt was black, which made his hair stand out even more, and he wore a pair of baggy pants, which contrasted with the girlish top enough so that he still felt enough of a guy, even though the bra was _padded_.  More hell and ducks!

He wore boots and gloves, and all in all, he looked good.  Never mind that, for some reason, everything he wore was black.  He could deal with black a little better then he could with pastels, which was Risa's first choice, though Riku and Daisuke, in a panic, had persuaded her into a different direction.  Leaning closer to the mirror, he noticed that on the bra strap, there were little bright red flames dancing along the fabric, which was a little surprising, though interesting...  He wondered which of the twins' bra this was, then realized that this was Dark's thought.

The pervert.

Someone pounded on the bathroom door.  Started, he turned and regarded it, panicking for a brief instant if it was Takeshi.  Riku's voice drifted through the door and soothed his nerves.

"Come out!  We wanna see what you look like!"  Daisuke, apart from panicking again, could almost swear that he heard 'and Risa had to go to the bathroom' as well.

Nervously, he pushed open the door and peeked his head out.  He blinked at the twins, who watched him expectantly.

"Well, come on out.  We wanna see the fruit of our labors."  Riku admonished, rolling her eyes.  Fighting a blush, Daisuke stepped quickly into the room, eyes glued to the floor.  For a moment, there was silence.

Then Riku gave a low wolf whistle, even though it was uncharacteristic of her, and Daisuke's eyes darted up to meet her gaze, startled.

"It looks good.  Tomboy-ish yet feminine and sexy."  She commented, walking around him to study the whole effect.  "I don't think Takeshi will recognize you – hell, I wouldn't.  Although you'll probably have to deal with guys hitting on you."

Daisuke slumped his shoulders.  In the back of his mind, he could feel Dark mulling about something, his interest obviously pricked... about something, and the red head sure didn't want to find out what that something exactly _was_.

"I was afraid of that."  He said under his breath.  Riku brightened as Risa rushed into the bathroom, looking a bit pale as she locked the door behind her.

"Well, might as well try out the disguise."  Grabbing his arm, she dragged him out the door, although he'd begun to panic again...

*

They'd been wandering around for a while, with no sign of Takeshi the entire time.  But that didn't mean they had been without their share of trouble.

First, they had to ward off guys who took an interest in Daisuke's new 'look', not realizing who exactly the sexy red head was.  The experience taught the boy a lesson.

_I don't ever want to be a girl for real_.  Daisuke said mentally to Dark, who refrained from commenting, although the boy had a distinct impression that Dark didn't quite agree.  Daisuke was definitely starting to wonder if Dark hadn't eaten something that made him permanently brain damaged.

After a particularly frustrating encounter, in which the guy had trailed them endlessly, trying to grope Daisuke, they decided to stay off the first floor, where most of the perverts seemed to hang out.

As they were walking upstairs, talking about god knows what, Takeshi stumbled past them, tears staining his face.  Daisuke felt bad for him for an instant, until Takeshi opened his mouth.

"My.... lobster..." He sobbed, anguish covering his voice at every turn.

Then Daisuke wanted to walk a little faster.  After the demon reporter was out of earshot, Riku leaned into Daisuke, whispering, "Looks like he didn't recognize you.  I bet no one will."

However, her optimism was dashed as the red head ran straight into Satoshi, who had finally left the room, probably looking for something to drink.  (Everyone – when the summer is upon us, drink lots of fluids so that you don't die!  I have a friend who almost died of heatstroke and dehydration!)

Satoshi stared at Daisuke for a moment, who became understandably nervous.

"Daisuke?"  The blue haired boy asked incredulously.  Flushing, Daisuke backed down a step, ready to flee.  However, Riku leapt upon Hiwatari like a lioness on her prey, and she clutched the boy's collar tightly.

"Don't tell _anyone_."  She hissed, eyes narrowing.  "It's a disguise."

He looked back coolly at her, saying nothing until Daisuke managed to calm her down, getting her to let go of his friend.

He turned his attention back to Daisuke, who lowered his own gaze to his feet.  After a moment of silence, Satoshi spoke.

"Interesting."

_What the hell does demon boy mean by_ that?  Dark asked, incredulously.  Then he smirked evilly.  _Betcha he wishes he could dress up as a girl_.

Instead of becoming indignant, Daisuke speculated on this, which showed that, yes, the weirdness that was going on was contagious!  _Do you really think so, Dark_?  He asked as he met Satoshi's eyes.  All of a sudden, it was like Riku wasn't there, as cheap violin music began playing in the background (to which Riku whirled around, trying to pinpoint its origin) and a flowery, pastel-ish, bubbly scene imposed itself on Satoshi and Daisuke, smothering the older Harada.  

For a while, it seemed like they were sharing a deep, profound, meaningful moment.  Daisuke felt a tug he'd never felt before.  He felt drawn to the blue haired boy.

Then Satoshi smirked, his response to Daisuke's get-up, and continued callously on his way downstairs.  The violin music screeched to a halt and the romance scene rolled over and died, trying to bury itself in some nearby dirt.  Riku gasped for breath, looking around for the scene, looking for vengeance.

Startled, Daisuke stared after the receding back of the other boy, a little hurt by his action.

_Disappointed he interrupted your little fantasy_?  Dark jeered from his mind, sniggering.

Daisuke blinked, and wondered what the hell had come over him.

_Probably the feminine products_.  Dark offered sagely as Daisuke and Riku went the rest of the way up the stairs.

*

_Was that just me or was that a moment_?  Krad said, not sure whether to be wrecking vengeance, exuding confusing, or making some cruel joke.

*

Riku lent some female things to Daisuke – female things including some make up, after Risa had taught him how to apply it without it looking garish, some hair pins, shirts, bras (they had also taught him how to pad it convincingly – not too much chest, but enough to make sure everyone knew he was a girl... even if he wasn't) and, much to his chagrin, skirts and one dress.

Dark was horrifyingly cheerful about the entire thing.

So he was lying on his bed, able to move, but too desperate to do so.  He swore to himself he would never drink the water in some strange hotel again.

Then Dark... decided to go to the hot springs.

The _girl_ side.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, NO_!!!  Daisuke chanted over and over again as he walked haltingly down the hall and towards the elevator, towel in hand.  Somehow, Dark was making him walk against his will, and he was starting to panic.  _Dark_!  _Stop it_!  He hissed in his mind, but Dark was busy humming cheerfully to himself and ignored the red head.  Once in the elevator, Daisuke sagged against the wall, realizing it was no good.  Dark was going to make him go into the hot springs no matter what.  _What a freaking pervert_!  He said to himself, disgusted.

The elevator door opened and a few girls giggled as they entered, towels also in hand.  Daisuke fought the violent urge to blush as they included him into their conversation happily.  They commented on his outlandish style, admiring his bravery, and realized that they'd never seen him before.

"I ah...  I'm on vacation with my... ah...  father."  He answered timidly, trying to shrink into the corner.  They giggled and jostled him a little, asking what he thought about the resort.  "Erm...  It's...  Nice...."

_That was lame_.  Dark commented wryly, then the elevator made it to the first floor, and everyone exited, walking towards the hallway that connected the building with the actual hot springs.  The girl's side.

Daisuke couldn't resist Dark's manipulations without raising anyone's suspicions about him, so instead listed everything he wanted to do to Dark, and then some.

Dark yawned.  _That's it_?

He added a few more venomous curses, then lapsed into silence.

He managed to lose the girls somewhere along the way, and the air was getting humid and moist, making his hair stick to his face as he walked silently along.  The floor suddenly became soft moss beneath his feet, and not tile, and he brushed against some ferns.

_Talk about weird_.  He commented to Dark, who agreed.

They heard splashing and Dark grinned, perking up again, and, using his thieving grace, stole quietly towards the sound, peeking around a few bushes.  There were six girls in the warm pool, a few with their hair gathered onto their heads, others with towels around theirs, and some left their hair as is.  And.  All.  Of.  Them.  Were.  Naked.

Dark almost squealed so happy was he.  Daisuke wanted to get away as fast as possible.

The only thing that nagged at the dark haired thieves mind was...  He just wished Riku were among the girls.

Daisuke suddenly felt a weird sensation in the pit of his stomach, then blacked out.

Be careful what you wish for.

*

Riku sighed as Risa dragged her down the hall, practically bouncing with excitement.  

"Some of the other girls have already been down here, and _they_ say it's really, really cool.  Ooh, I can't wait to see it!  Is it just me, or is the air getting damp...?"  Risa chattered on brainlessly.  Riku rolled her eyes, but realized that, indeed, the air _was_ getting damp.  

Their feet stopped clicking on tile and sank into a plush carpet of moss, plants on either side of them.  It was almost too dark to even realize that these were plants, but Riku could barely see their outline.

"Oh, wow, this is awesome."  Risa gushed, looking around her with wide eyes, even though she couldn't see a thing.  "I think the spring's over here."  She said and tugged her sister towards the sound of splashing and giggling.  Riku began to follow, but the bushes to her left shuddered suspiciously and she told her twin to go on without her as she narrowed her eyes, stalking towards the underbrush.  Her eyes had gotten used to the darkness, and her surroundings were much clearer now...

"_Daisuke_!?"  She whispered vehemently.  Daisuke, still in girl form, whirled to face her, his red eyes wide and surprised.  He smiled weakly at her, a little pale from the force of her glare.

"Eh...  Hi...  Riku..."

Counting to ten so as to not blow up and kill the boy right then and there, she breathed deeply, asking Daisuke, "What.  The hell.  Are you doing here."

He looked up at her, sitting cross-legged on the moss.

"Er.. well, remember when the teacher was talking about Alien abductions...?"

"Yes."  Of course.  When did their teacher _not_ warn them against alien invaders?  Riku had a sneaking suspicion that if she ever snuck a peak at the teacher's secret wardrobe, she'd find "I lived through an alien abduction" T-shirts, and maybe even a "LIVE LONG AND PROSPER" sign laying around somewhere.

But had any of this to do with the fact that Daisuke, despite being dressed up as a girl, by her own hand, was definitely _not_ a girl, and was here, in the _girl_ side of the hot springs.

"Well, a little while ago I blanked out...  and I woke up here...  And I'm not sure...  but I have this strange stamp on my hand, but I can't make out what it says...  Although I think it may have to do with aliens."

Riku grabbed his hands, and, indeed, found something in block letters on the back of his left hand.  The lighting wasn't very good, though, so she couldn't see what it said – quietly, she dragged him out of the hot springs, down the dark hallway and into the lighted area near the front desk.

On his hand, in medium sized, friendly letters, it said "You've been alien abducted.  Have a nice day."

The two girls – well, Daisuke looked like a girl – blinked.

" I wonder... what...  they did...?"  Riku said out loud.  Daisuke's shoulder's slumped.  

He turned, and without another word, walked towards the stairs, suddenly taking up Dark's suggestion in the beginning about getting shit-faced drunk.

After all...

_It couldn't get much worse_.


	3. Intoxication

Yay.  Well, I can't update on my birthday, since it's a Sunday, so, instead, I'm uploading one day earlier.  Let me tell YOU, that this chapter was a bitch and a half to write.  

The Chapter Contains:  Daisuke FINALLY getting drunk, one of those contraptions that involve string, chickens, an otter, bowling balls, race cars and other random objects just to open the screen door so that you don't have to, more cross dressing, Yaoi (making out) and three lines from the anime Excel Saga's beginning theme song, called Love (Loyalty).

Translation for these lines:  

That isn't love Love isn't that I am in love, but I am not loved. 

Timeline:  Muahaha!  There _is_ no timeline!  This story is just my brain floundering in the gap between my imagination and reality.

Pairings:  I'd rather not spoil it, but...

MAJOR DaixSato, DarkxKrad, Sekimoto hitting on Satoshi, Krad hitting on Satoshi, and Takeshi STILL WON'T STOP CHASING DAISUKE.

Anyway.  Enjoy.

_Getting Depressed, Getting Desperate, and Getting Drunk_

_Intoxication_.

_It really, really, **really**, couldn't get much worse_.  Daisuke thought to himself as he trudged up the stairs single-mindedly.  He ignored anyone who passed by him on his way, his entire being focused on one goal – getting drunk.  Shit faced drunk.  To the point of being smashed so hard he couldn't count to one.  

And Dark was in agreement with him.  _I didn't get to see any naked girlies_...

_You're disgusting, you know that_?  

Dark sniffed disdainfully.  _So I've been told – **repeatedly**_.

_Besides, you weren't the one who got alien abducted_.

_No, but I'm sure if you told the teacher, she'd sympathize with you – I have a notion she's been taken around the galaxy a wee too much_.

Daisuke paused outside his door.  _How are we going to get drunk_?  _The mini-bars have been emptied_.

_Check anyway_, Dark offered.  _We may get lucky_.

Daisuke sighed and entered, trekking to the small square object in the corner of the room, opening the fridge.  Dark crowed.  _Ha ha ha_!  _Idiots forgot a room_!

It was like heaven – Daisuke was staring face to face with a temporary oblivion.

The mini-bar had, in fact, _not_ been emptied.  He smiled, almost cheerful.  _Any preferences_?

_Fruity stuff first_!  Dark said, caught up in a two-way happy mood.  _It tastes good and it gives you a little buzz_.  _After that, we hit the hard stuff – **vodka**_!!

_Uh_...  _Dark_?  Daisuke said, freezing as he reached into the array of alcoholic beverages.  _How do you distinguish one from another_?

Dark thought for a moment, then smirked, all arrogance again.  _Just smell it – I'll tell you yes or no_.

Obliging him, Daisuke grabbed the nearest, popped the top, and sniffed it.  He made a face at the same time Dark exclaimed, _Ugh, no way_!  _Try another_.

Daisuke replaced the lid, found another, and Dark rejected it as well.  The third attempt was met with satisfaction.  _Yup_.  _Smells yummy_.

_I hope it's not shampoo_...  Daisuke thought absentmindedly as he downed it, eyes watering at the sharp, almost fruity taste.  

_Ninety-nine bottles of alcohol on the wall_!  _Ninety-nine bottles of alcohol_...  Dark sang as Daisuke reached for the next.  _Hey, Dai, just grab them all and get comfy_!  He said, realizing that they were just sitting in front of the mini-bar.

"Huh, oh yeah..." Daisuke grabbed as many of the small bottles as he could in both hands, after, of course, he downed the drink he had in his hand at the moment.  Luckily, two drinks were _not_ enough to get him drunk, so he plopped onto the bed, still in full female regalia, and scattered the bottles around him.  He popped the lid off one, sniffed, and after Dark consented, downed those contents as well.

_Hey, there's some cool throbbing lights up here_, Dark commented, poking an aforementioned light, cursing, and nursing his burnt finger.  _Go figure_.  He muttered.

_Good for you_.  Daisuke replied, discarding the empty bottle along with a full one that didn't meet the requirements.  Daisuke paused with the third bottle to his lips.  _Dark_...  _Why the hell do I have to turn into you to fall in love_?  _Why can't I be normal and fall in love the old fashioned way_?  _By cheating on three girls at the same time_...?

_What, don't like my company_?  Dark inquired, faking being injured while pouting.  _It's not like_...  _Like I **asked** to have to be a servant to the Niwa's_...  _Not to mention the fact that my life's on the line, what with Krad and all_...

_No, it's not that I don't **like** you, despite the fact that you're egotistical, perverted, and a kleptomaniac, it's just that turning into you whenever I'm horny gets kind of complicated_.

Dark froze for a second.  **_Horny_**??!!!

_Well_... _Yeah_...  Daisuke downed the third bottle, tossed it, and picked up the next.  He was finally starting to feel a little woozy, but ignored it.  _I mean_...  _I always turn into you when I think of the twins_... _But I'm not thinking about how much I **love** them, I'm thinking of **them**_... _so, I don't think that that counts for love_...

_Y'know_... _Now that you say it out loud_... Dark thought, or at least tried to think as he dodged random objects that were slowly popping up in Daisuke's head as the alcohol began to take effect.  _You might be right_...  He grinned.  _So **that's** why I'm such a horny bastard_!!

Daisuke hiccupped, laughed, and fell off the bed.

Giggling, he got onto his hands and knees, then an idea formed in his head, rolling Dark into a nearby ditch, and painting him bright pink with green stripes.

_Hey, Dark_...

*

An hour, some string, numerous amounts of paperclips, some cackling and giggling, and a makeshift catapult later, Daisuke was back on the bed, staring at the mess of string and paperclips that stretched the entirety of the room, downing his seventh bottle, still managing to hold the alcohol, even though the drinks were getting a little bitter.  

_Think ish gonna work_?  Daisuke asked Dark, who was wondering the same thing.  

_Never know until it's tripped_.  He replied, and they admired their handiwork.

What really surprised the more sober Dark was that, in the entire hour that it took for them to work the entire plan out, demon boy had yet to appear.  

The knob turned and the string tensed, as if it were sensing that, soon, its evil intent would be unleashed.

The door swung open, and demon boy stood, looking almost surprised at the state of the room, in the doorway, reacting almost too late as the catapult was launched, pail and water being tossed through the air with an almost poetic grace towards Satoshi's head, his eyes widening as Daisuke looked on, grinning with pride. (wow!  What a long sentence..)  It had worked!

Satoshi got drenched, true, however he ducked in time for the bucket to miss him and slam into Takeshi, who was standing behind him, looking a bit like hell.  The bucket dropped, and the druggy reporter with it.

Satoshi straightened and looked at Daisuke, who had fallen off the bed, hiccupping loudly while giggling almost dementedly.  "It _worked_, it _worked_!!"  He said, clawing his way onto the bed, then managing to fall back down on the floor, then try to crawl onto the bed again.  

"Of courshe I wash confident that it would work!  We're gene-u- er..  Ganiua  --..  Er, we're brilliant!"

Satoshi, being Satoshi, realized immediately that, in fact, Daisuke Niwa was very, very drunk, and he was definitely responsible for this mess, and he was most likely talking to Dark.  That being apprehended, he walked calmly into the room, stepping over a complex network of string and paperclips, a catapult, and one of Niwa's legs as he moved to sit on his bed.  He stared at Niwa... who was still a girl, a girl who looked very drunk.  Niwa smiled at him, finally on the bed with his head hanging off, completely upside down with his hair hanging towards the ground.  

He smiled ingeniously, and lifted a bottle towards him, giggling.  "Wanna drink?"

Satoshi looked at him, wondering if he should answer.  Well, he did anyway.  "No."

Daisuke's face fell and tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.  "You... you think I'm impious, don't you?  I'm not good enough, huh?  With your perfect hair an' yer...  per-perfect face and perfect manners..." Still upside down, Daisuke's tears began falling down his temples, running into his vibrant, soft hair.  "You think I'm stupid, don't you?  I'm worthless an' **drunk**, an' not worth your time, huh?!"

As Daisuke's voice began to hitch higher, Satoshi began to feel a little uncomfortable.

"I'm a human being!  I make mistakes, and so do you!  You **seem** perfect, but yer jes' as human as I am!"  More tears joined the original as Satoshi jumped up hastily, but inside of exiting the room as he had intended, he reached for the still, unconsciously, proffered drink, popped the lid, and downed it.

"Happy?"  He asked, watching as Daisuke smiled drunkenly and slid off the bed, sorting out with end was the top and which was the bottom before scooting over to Satoshi's feet, giggling.  He latched onto the blue-haired boy's legs, purring.

"Yeah..." He sighed.  

Satoshi twitched and tried to nudge Daisuke off his leg, stood still for moment, took another bottle Daisuke had lifted towards him, downed it, then sat abruptly, heavily, on the floor, staring at nothing in particular.  Daisuke took the opportunity to crawl, unsteadily, into his lap and curl into a content ball with his arms around Satoshi's waist, purring like a happy kitten.  He brought with him a large assortment of bottles, a few empty, but most full and at their dispense.  

Neither said a thing as Daisuke cuddled to him, drinking alcohol liberally, and the blue eyed boy twitched, almost as if he were having an internal monologue.

*

_I don't know whether I should seek divine retribution against Niwa-boy, or thank him profusely_.  Krad said, watching as Daisuke urged a few more drinks on Satoshi, still seated rather suggestively in his lap.  _Maybe a little of both_.

*

By the time Riku found them, Satoshi was on his fifth bottle, and Daisuke was trying to find his way out of _Satoshi's_ shirt, never-minding how he got there in the first place, seeing as how Satoshi _was not topless_.

What she saw first, however, was a knocked out cold Takeshi with a lump on his forehead and a bucket laying harmlessly next to him, followed closely by a strange mess of string and paperclips, then the two incoherent boys.  

" _Daisuke_!?  _Satoshi_!?"  She said, incredulously.  Daisuke tried to pop out of Satoshi's shirt, but made do by waving one of his hands (if one followed that hand up that arm, one would find that that arm was poking out of Satoshi's sleeve, along with his _own_ arm, thankyouverymuch!  ^^) and saying 'hi', or something rather close to it.

Satoshi looked as calm as ever, though he spoiled his stoicism by giggling after he said her name, elongating one of the vowels.  "Hello, Rikuuuuuu."

The lump that was Daisuke's head dipped a little, and Satoshi paled, then blushed, peeking down his shirt.  "I'm up _here_."  He whispered loudly, and Daisuke's head squirmed upwards, emerging nose to nose with Satoshi.  

"Hi!"  He said brightly, smiling as his eyes crossed, and he was unable to consciously uncross them.  "What _was_ that?"

Satoshi blushed again, in answer, and Daisuke grinned.  "Ooh!  Look what I can do!"

Leaning forward, Daisuke planted a firm kiss on Satoshi's lips.

Riku squeaked, frozen.  Daisuke turned to her, not really noticing how Satoshi was too stunned to breath, and smiled.  "I'm talented!"  He chirped.  "Watch!"  He disappeared back in Satoshi's shirt, and the boy soon gasped, un-shocked, and arched his back as he blushed again.

Daisuke then said something, still lost within Satoshi's shirt, that sounded a little like, "See!?"

Riku choked, fell backwards as blood rushed like football players to her brain, and managed to gasp out, "Yes.  Very.  Talented."

The blue haired boy, recovering from whatever Daisuke had done, though only slightly, looked at Riku, picked up a full bottle, and chucked it at her.  "You should get drunk."

Not knowing what else to do, as nothing quite made sense at that moment, she nodded, sat up, and downed the bottle.  She blinked a few times.

"Wait...  I thought that the teacher said the mini-bars had been emptied?"

Satoshi nodded, squeaked as Daisuke moved in his shirt, then replied, "Yes, they were.  However, it appears that the alcohol had to be stored _somewhere_...  so...  It looks like all of the alcohol was put in _this_ room."

"Well, that makes sense..." She muttered as she grabbed a second bottle.

*

When Risa found them, her sister was more then a little drunk, Satoshi and Daisuke were making out in a corner, and Takeshi was still out cold.

"What is going _on_, here!?"  She cried, staring at the two boys.  Satoshi pulled away, smiling rather happily, and chucked a bottle at her.

"Get drunk."

"No way!"

"Do it."

"No!"

"Your sister's drunk."

"Oh.  No!"

"Dark's drunk."

"He is!?"  Risa stared at him, then her gaze darted around the room.  "You're lying!  Dark isn't even _here_."

"Um.."  Satoshi smiled again, and motioned for her to turn around.  "Hold on a second."

Frowning, she turned around, glaring at a wall and tapping her foot in annoyance.

"Okay, okay, you can look now."

She turned – she squealed.  "DARK!"

Dark looked like a very drunk deer caught in the headlights as he stared at her, wide eyed.  Risa didn't even notice that the thief was sitting in the lap of a very drunk, very hot looking blond.  Right then, though, someone caught her ankle as she launched herself forward, intent on raping the dark haired man.  She crashed to the floor.

"What the hell was tha--"  She roared, then turned to see her sister grinning at her.  

"Hey, Risa.  You remember how mom told us never to get drunk?"

"Yes."

"Oh.  I was just wondering.  Wanna get drunk?"

"I..." She blinked nervously, then heard Dark's giggle behind her, though something kept her from looking back and seeing what _exactly_ was making the thief giggle (most likely it had something to do with the blond she hadn't noticed).  "Okay," She said, abruptly, and snatched a bottle from Riku.

*

Eventually, Risa wondered what the catapult looking thingy was for, or why there was a mess of string and paperclips strewn about the room, but it doesn't matter right now, so whatever.

*

And, eventually, Dark and Krad turned back into Satoshi and Daisuke, who got it into their heads to drag a large amount of the alcohol into the elevator and sit on the floor, handing it out to anyone who wanted it.

*

"Say, what's that on your hand?"  Satoshi asked calmly, curiously, and if anyone hadn't seen his smile, they wouldn't have known he was drunk.

Daisuke glanced down and saw the stamp.  "Oh, I forgot about thaaaat....  I was abducted by aliens a few hours ago, I think."

"Oh.  That's nice."

"Mmm...  Yeah..."

They sat against an elevator wall, almost depleted of their alcohol.  And it wasn't _them_ who had been drinking it.  By Satoshi's (rather drunk) estimate, over half of the class should be drunk at that precise moment.  

"Did you know that you're still dressed up as a girl?"

"Oh...  no, I didn't..."  Daisuke glanced down his shirt and giggled, an idea suddenly popping into his head, courtesy of a rather giddy Dark.  "Wanna play dress up?"

"Dress up?"

Daisuke nodded, suddenly on his hands and knees next to Satoshi, their faces mere inches away.  "Yeah...." He kissed the boy, then grinned.  "Wanna dress up as a girl?"

"... Is it fun?"

Daisuke nodded vigorously.

"... Okay."

*

_I have two things I want to wonder about right now_.  Krad muttered to himself, also affected by the large amount of alcohol his other half had consumed.  _Why hasn't either of these kids passed out, and why the_ **hell** _did I start making out with Dark_?

*

Satoshi, as a girl, looked really, really...

"Hot."  Sekimoto said.  (The boy had run across the two in the elevators and, after finding out that most of the alcohol was in their room, had dashed upstairs as quick as possible.)

"Really?  You think so?"  Satoshi asked, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Oh yeah."

Daisuke wasn't in the bathroom at that moment.  

Daisuke wasn't in the room at that moment.

Daisuke...  was...  probably not on that _floor_ at that moment.

Takeshi had woken up, somehow recognizing the red head, and the chase had continued.

So now Satoshi was in the bathroom, wearing a short slinky dress, a wig (where they found the wig is beyond the reasoning of this author, who is starting to panic, thinking she might not make her own deadline...) of long, pale hair (the exact blue of his own hair, again, against all of this author's demented reasoning) fastened by barrettes, a few slim bracelets, a padded bra (which could be seen because of the thin straps of the dress) and high heels (again, no idea how they found the high heels.  Maybe the teacher.) 

Satoshi, drunkenly, analyzed his appearance.  But he decided that it was true, that he really _did_ look sexy, when Krad commented, _I'd screw you, and I'm gay_.

"Are you _really_?"

_No_.

"Oh."

"You know, it's a sign of insanity when the voices in your head start disagreeing."  Sekimoto commented sagely as he chugged another bottle.

"It's also a sign of insanity if you're in a room with padded walls."  Satoshi answered offhandedly.

Sekimoto snorted and passed out, half in the bathroom, half in the bedroom.

"So, why did you start making out with Dark, then, if you're _not_ gay?"

_I've been thinking of that myself_.

"So you must be gay."

_Oh yeah_?  _How about you and Daisuke_?

"I know I'm gay."

Krad was miffed.  _And how did_ you _know, but_ I _didn't_?

"You're a blond."

_Two words for you, gay-boy_.  _Divine retribution_.

"Know what words mean before you use them."

_Damn_.

*

Daisuke had gotten lost in the hotel.  This wasn't good, seeing as how he was drunk, which meant that his inhibitions were hindered, he thought a little less slowly, and a little more chaotically, and Dark was intoxicated as well.  Which meant that Dark was singing off key.

_Sore wa ai ja nai_....  _Ai wa sore ja nai_...

And, not to mention, Takeshi was just behind, him, crying and calling out his name.

"Daisuke!  Daisuke....  Daisuke, my lobster!  My lobster, come back to me!  We belong together!"

=Takeshi's Drug Deprived Imagination=

"Come and catch me, my love!"  Daisuke laughed to him, taunting him with his teasing scarlet eyes, his delicate face joyfully tantalizing as it was just out of reach.  His heart sang as he gave chase, ignoring his body's protests.

=Back to Reality=

_Aishite iru kedo aisarete wa inai_....  Dark crooned drunkenly in his mind.

=Daisuke's Drunk, Overactive Imagination=

"Come back here!"  Takeshi screamed behind him, tearing apart the resort as they ran.  "Let me avail myself to your young body!"

=Back to Reality=

Daisuke collided with someone, and they tumbled to a halt on the floor, dazed for a moment.

The red head jumped up, spotted the exit, which meant that he was on the first floor, and made a mad dash to the doors, which shone with a golden glow of hope and freedom.

He pushed through, crashed into someone else, and after a momentary scuffle, found himself being stuffed into the back of a van.

"What the hell??"

Three men looked him over coolly.

"We didn't catch your name, Mrs...?"

"Er.. Niwa....?"  He said, eyeing them warily.  "Look, if it's about the alcohol, _you_ try being abducted by aliens and not want to get drunk."

They looked at each other, confused, then returned their attention to him.

"Mrs. Niwa, we regret to inform you that you have been taken hostage."

Daisuke relaxed.  "Oh, that's all?"

The men gave him a look.  "What do you mean?"

"Well, for all I know, you could have been the circus or something."

Daisuke, finally, from exhaustion, mental and emotional stress, and being abducted by aliens, not to mention all the alcohol he'd downed, passed out cold.

*

Back in the lobby of the resort, Takeshi Saehara helped his teacher, who was wearing a t-shirt that said 'We Came, We Saw, We Abducted,' stand up while he cried his eyes out.  

This had been one hell of a field trip, as far as anyone was concerned.

_The End_.

::Dodges potentially lethal objects::  ::grins::

Look for the sequel – I dunno what it'll be called, but it'll most likely be complete gibberish.

And what's going to be _in_ that sequel, per se?  I dunno – the after effects of alcohol on half of the class, Daisuke's adventures around town, being kidnapped and all...  and maybe Satoshi to the rescue (dressed in spandex???) – I know, I know, 'WHAT THE HELL IS SHE THINKING??' but if you ask that, you've got to wonder...  was I supposed to be?


End file.
